STUPID QUESTIONS WITH THE SMART ANSWERS: BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy. GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring?? BOY : Sure, what's your phone number?? GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever. BOY : Don't you ever want to improve?? BOY : I love you and I could die for you! GIRL : How soon?? BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you! GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?? SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss?? TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth. MAN : You remind me of the sea. WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? MAN : NO, because you make me sick. WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other. HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth. MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter? PETER : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly. Girlfriend : '...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?' Boyfriend : 'Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday'. Teacher : 'Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?' Pupil : 'The moon'. Teacher : 'Why?' Pupil : 'The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it'. Teacher : 'What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?' Pupil : 'A teacher'. Waiter : 'Would you like your coffee black?' Customer : 'What other colors do you have?' My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called current affairs. Teacher : 'Sam, you talk a lot !' Sam : 'It's a family tradition'. Teacher : 'What do you mean?' Sam : 'Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher'. Teacher : 'What about your mother?' Sam : 'She's a woman'. Tom : 'How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?' David: 'You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performance repeated'. Teacher : 'Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?' Student : 'Brotherly love'. Teacher : 'Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?' Sam : 'No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook'. Patient : 'What are the chances of my recovering doctor?' Doctor : 'One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I've treated. The others all died'. Teacher : ' Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?' One Student : 'Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the same time.' Teacher : ' George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him ?' One Student: ' Because George still had the axe in is hand.'